The Struggle To Be Different

This unsettled feeling
has been with me all my life,
and will probably be with me
as long as I think and breathe.

I have tried my best to quell it,
soothe it, run away from it,
and it does fade away,
in time, until it returns,
in its own cycle
of coming and going.

I am not in control of it,
and never will be.

It has a life of its own,
which I have been ignoring.

I have made it my enemy,
and spent countless hours
and endless energy
trying to banish it.

But it is a part of me,
and it is only my mind,
trying to control itself,
that would have it be otherwise.

There is no enemy,
there is only a myth
of what should not be.

How much simpler
to embrace the truth,
and be unsettled
when I’m unsettled,
at peace when I’m at peace,
not always struggling
to be different
from how I am.